The Summer Movie List

I have to admit that I never lived up to my original promise to maintain a list - updated monthly - of the movies to look out for. I guess blogging from work is not going to allow me to make regular updates. My apologies to all my devoted readers.

May is in the air, however, and the movie buzz is starting to take hold. Not that I think I'll actually see most or even some of these movies in the theaters (I really hope to catch Spider-Man 3 in an IMAX theater though), but I live vicariously through movie trailers and wait patiently (heroically so compared to my never-miss-a-good-movie youth) for the DVDs to land in my Blockbuster.com queue.

That said, I now present the list of movies that I hope to see some day:

1) Spider-Man 3: As I said, this one is worth making the effort to see it in the theater -- better yet, in an IMAX theater. I would have loved to see 300 in IMAX, but I couldn't orchestrate it in time. Spidey is worth the effort.

2) Next: This one is risky because Nick Cage doesn't always pick the right projects, but I'm a fan nonetheless. Add to that the fact that I love movies that play with time, and you've got a movie that makes the list.

3) Fracture: The trailer for this one really intrigued me, and I'm a fan of Anthony Hopkins, so I'm looking forward to knowing more about this one.

4) Meet the Robinsons: What can I say? CG toon, looks funny, time travel is involved. 'Nuff said.

5) Hot Fuzz: Naked Gun meets Monty Python. Looks really funny.

6) Shrek the Third: I don't care about the casting buzz that seems to be coloring this film, I thought the first two were funny. Mike Meyers has definitely found his retirement program.

7) The Ex: I just love physical comedy, and the trailer for this one had enough to make me interested in this one. Zach Braff is hilarious on Scrubs and I'm looking forward to more of his stuff.

8) Pirates of the Caribbean: At Worlds End: Johnny Depp's retirement vehicle. What a fun bunch of movies these have been so far. I'm looking forward to this cliffhanger sequel.

9) Knocked Up: Don't laugh, but I think this film could mark a moral high-point for mainstream Hollywood cinema. You can read my earlier comments on this one here.

10) Day Watch: All I can say about this is that the trailer for this just looked awesome. This appears to be the natural offspring of the Matrix franchise.

11) Rise: Blood Hunter: Lucy Liu à la The Crow? What's not to like?

12) Surfs Up: Another CG film, but with a Christopher Guest sort of twist -- a behind -the-scenes documentary style. Looks funny. I like the grainy, old-TV picture style in the trailers. I'm tellin' ya, they're getting pretty good at that CG stuff.

13) Ocean's Thirteen: (I promise, I didn't make this the 13th on the list on purpose.) Yet another great franchise with a can't-go-wrong cast. Looks just as good as the first two.

14) Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer: I wasn't a big fan of the first film (but I'll admit that I watched it). It didn't live up to the standard set by the X-Men franchise. But I'm hoping that they've learned a thing or two from either X-Men or Spider-Man and will improve with this sequel.

15) Ratatouille: The latest from Pixar that promises, as always, to be the very best CG film to date.

16) Live Free or Die Hard: The forth Die Hard film looks like a stunt-action extravaganza. Yippie-ki-yay!

17) Transformers: Oh yeah, baby. The only thing that might taint this film is the story going around that says this film is being used to further promote the global warming scare agenda. I don't know how robots from space are supposed to teach us a lesson on greenhouse gasses, but hopefully it won't detract from the film too much.

18) The Bourne Ultimatum: Another high-five! I'm a big fan of this franchise as well. (Funny how may sequels and franchises there are, huh? I wonder if the movie moguls of the past ever thought of making Gone With the Wind 2: Tomorrow Is Another Day.)

19) Rush Hour 3: Another sequel! Well, I guess if it sells... yeah. Chan and Tucker are such an odd pairing, but it seems to work nonetheless.

I couldn't come up with an even 20, but the summer is still young. Let me know what you think if you see any of these, or if you have others to add to the list. Happy viewing!

A Farewell Poem For Imus

By Tarzana Joe:

I come to bury Imus, not to praise him.

As if any words on earth could raise him.

Billy Saul Hargus himself could shout,

“John Donald Imus come out!”

And those words would come to naught.

The ranch, as they say, has been bought.

By his own hand has this been done

Adios, “God’s Other Son”.

Now, don’t criticize me for that quote.

“God’s Other Son” is a novel that Imus wrote.

And now, I guess every talk show host must wonder

What chance remark, what blunder,

Will bring on the everlasting thunder

And through what narrow pipe he’ll be extruded

(present company of course excluded).

And every trumpet in the land

Will use Imus as a soapbox on which to stand

One pundit says, the press reports,

“These remarks have undone decades of progress in women’s sports.”

The problem with women’s sports, (Now I need to be careful here so I don’t botch it)

Is that even women will not watch it.

But so that I might remain acceptable to the mainstream

I apologize here and now to the Vassar field hockey team

Present and former

And every Title Nine reformer

Who thinks the time is right (don’t laugh)

For Title Nine And A Half

Which will require all of us to attend

Women’s softball and stay ‘till the end.

Actually a women’s softball team in LA would be quite winning

Because Los Angelinos would stay through the seventh inning.

And here’s something you won’t believe even after I’ve said it,

But Al Gore’s announced he’s selling “Vulgar Credits”!

If you say something awful, don’t give it a thought.

You can buy an “offset” from Al before you’re caught.

And just so the whole thing won’t get too messy

The program will be run by Al and Jesse.

So hit the trail, Imus, you old turkey-necked vulture.

They laid you low just like you did to the culture.